When navigating a divorce, questions around child custody can feel particularly stressful and overwhelming. Each state has different laws and procedures for determining child custody arrangements. If you are a resident of the Tar Heel State, you can prepare yourself for an upcoming child custody case by learning how child custody is decided in North Carolina. The Schweppe Law Firm, P.A., has you covered.

When Are Custody Agreements Necessary?

Child custody is the legal right and responsibility to take care of and make important decisions for a child. They are important to establish when parents divorce or separate. Although North Carolina does not require parents in these situations to obtain a formally court-ordered custody agreement, this can become necessary if the parents cannot agree on where a child should live or how they should be raised.

As of 2023, the divorce rate in North Carolina was 2.7 per 1,000 residents, according to the Centers for Disease Control. This is slightly higher than the national average for that year, which was 2.4 per 1,000 residents. When couples get divorced, and there are children involved, child custody becomes an issue, and often an emotionally charged one.

Physical vs. Legal Custody

In North Carolina, there is a distinction between physical custody and legal custody of children. Physical custody determines where a child lives most or all of the time and who is physically taking care of their needs, such as food, clothing, transportation, and other necessities of daily life. As of 2025, around 18.6 million children in the United States lived with only one parent.

On the other hand, legal custody determines which parent has the legal authority to make major life decisions for and about a child. For example, a parent with legal custody can decide where a child goes to school, what medical care they receive, and what religious education they receive, if any.

Sole Custody vs. Joint Custody

Parents can be awarded either sole or joint custody. In sole custody, one parent has full legal or physical custody, or both, whereas parents with joint custody share one or both responsibilities. Legal and physical custody can be distributed separately; for example, one parent may have sole physical custody while sharing joint legal custody.

What Is Visitation?

In cases in which one parent is awarded primary physical custody (that is, they’re given the majority of physical custody time), the other parent may be awarded “visitation” rights, which means they still have the right to see their child during certain times. Visitation can be unsupervised and occur at the noncustodial parent’s home, or it may be supervised, consisting of visits in the custodial parent’s home or in public places.

How Is Custody Decided in North Carolina?

In ideal scenarios, custody matters in North Carolina are simply decided by the parents if they can agree on a custody arrangement. Parents are not legally required to get a court order for custody if they agree to their own terms about how to share childcare rights and responsibilities.

However, getting a court order may still be a good idea in these situations, just in case conflicts arise later, as only a court order can make a custody arrangement legally binding. Parents can draft an agreement with the help of a North Carolina child custody attorney and have a judge review and sign it, which makes it an official court decree.

In cases of contested custody, in which parents do not agree on custody terms, the process for reaching an arrangement is as follows: 

• One parent files for custody.
• The other parent responds to the petition for custody.
• The matter goes to mandatory mediation (unless you file to waive mediation and the judge approves). During mediation, a court-appointed mediator sits with both parents, ideally along with legal counsel, to discuss proposed custody terms and attempt to help the parties reach common ground.
• If mediation isn’t successful, the case may move to a court hearing. During the hearing, both parties present their arguments, along with any supporting evidence, and the judge makes a final decision.

FAQs About How Child Custody Is Decided in North Carolina

What Should You Not Say During a Custody Hearing?

There are many things that are inadvisable to say during a custody hearing, but one major thing to remember is that a custody hearing isn’t the place to air your grievances against the other parent. No matter how you feel about the other parent, the custody hearing is about the well-being of your child or children. Deviating from that focus to speak negatively about the other parent may cause a judge to question your motives and could hurt your case.

Do Children in North Carolina Get a Say in Custody Decisions?

Children in North Carolina Can Have a Say in Custody Decisions. In this state, there is no specific age at which a child’s preferences are legally relevant. However, a judge may consider the preferences of a child of any age, as long as that child demonstrates that they understand the matter in question.

Where Are Custody Hearings Held in North Carolina?

In North Carolina, child custody hearings are handled through the district court system. Any particular child custody hearing would be held in the county in which the initial custody petition is filed. For example, if someone filed for custody of a child in Shelby, the hearing would be held at the Cleveland County Courthouse, which is located at 100 Justice Place in Shelby.

Can a Custody Order Be Modified Once Arranged?

Yes, a child custody order can be modified once arranged, but this requires an official modification from a judge. If you need to modify an existing custody arrangement, it’s a good idea to hire a child custody lawyer to help you redraft the agreement or introduce proposed changes. The modification process is more likely to go smoothly if you have the help of an attorney.

Need Representation in Cleveland County? Hire a Child Custody Lawyer

If you are facing a custody case or need an attorney to help you draw up a parenting agreement in cooperation with your co-parent, make sure you contact someone knowledgeable about North Carolina’s child custody laws. The Schweppe Law Firm, P.A., is a small-town practice providing large-firm service to families in Cleveland County and throughout western North Carolina, with over six decades of combined experience. Contact us today to discuss your needs.